Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Is your teen testing limits?
Be careful what you say in front of your teen. If you smoked pot or won beer pong in your college days, keep it to yourself for now. You can tell them later on in life but right now they will use it against you if you tell them “do as I say, not as I do”.
• I just wanted to try and see what it was like
• What are you going to do to stop me?
• You are the meanest parent ever!
• You did it when you were young so what’s the problem?
• I’m just going to have sex anyway, whether I’m on the pill or not.
• It’s none of your business!
• Why do I have to wait till I’m 15 to date? My friends started dating at 12!
• I’m not like all the other kids…I’m a good kid and never cause you any problems!
Sound familiar? What’s a parent to do? It gets really tiring to fight about these things all the time. Many parents will negotiate.
• Ok…you can drink with your friends so long as you do it here at home and I drive everyone home or they stay overnight.
• Ok, you can stay out till 2 am.
Some parents give in because they feel it’s a right of passage. For others, it’s easier to ignore. Some feel their child is entitled to be above the law and lastly, some parents feel they will alienate their child if they constantly fight over these freedoms.
Remember, your job as a parent is to be the parent, not their friend. Friendship will come further down the road but right now they need your guidance. You are not alone on this road to freedom…..we are here to listen, point you to support groups, behavioral specialists and counselors.
It is important to teach your child to respect those in authority over them. It is even more important to teach them conflict resolution. While none of us like having our children deal with a teacher they don’t like, use it as an opportunity for them to learn how to deal with difficult people. Later in life they will have encounters with difficult bosses, neighbors or strangers.